The B-Movie Bungalow Presents: ThanksKilling (2009)

DIRECTED BY
Jordan Downey

STARRING
Lindsey Anderson - Kristen 'The Good Girl'
Lance Predmore - Johnny 'The Jock'
Ryan E. Francis - Darren 'The Nerd'
Aaron Ringhiser-Carlson - Billy 'The Hick'
Natasha Cordova - Ali
Chuck Lamb - Sheriff Roud
General Bastard - Oscar the Hermit

Genre - Horror/B-Movie/Slasher

Running Time - 66 Minutes


Thanksgiving - the day the Pilgrims celebrated their thanks to God for helping them survive their first New England winter with 90 Native Americans.

Thanksgiving - the day families come together to feast on large quantities of turkey, cranberry sauce, ham, and a whole bunch of other stuff that will have people running to the gym the next day.

Thanksgiving - the day where a killer, smart-mouthed Turkey, sent as vengeance by slaughtered Native Americans, slaughters stereotypical characters in a really ridiculous B-movie.

Gee, I wonder which one of these I'll be discussing in this review...? If you said the second one, then you're a DUMBASS! But if you said the last one, then you win the grand prize: my review for 2009's modern B-movie classic, THANKSKILLING. Fight off the tryptophan and keep your eyes open for my new Thanksgiving movie tradition for years to come.

PLOT
A 1621 Puritan baring her big, beautiful boobs runs through the woods, scared by something - which happens to be a puppet playing a killer turkey who has obviously studied at the same One-Liners School with Fred Krueger and Charles Lee Ray. Apparently, some pissed off Native Americans put a curse on the Pilgrims and their decendants by creating a demon possessed turkey to kill them one by one. I don't understand this sort of evil. It's not like the white people took their land or anything!

Anyway, we travel 500 years later [someone doesn't know how to count] where five stupid college kids [The Jock, The Good Girl, The Nerd, The Slut, and The Hick] take a road trip during Thanksgiving break to head towards their respective homes to celebrate the holiday. Unfortunately, some dog finds a talisman in the woods and decides to pee on it. And if you've seen A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 4: THE DREAM MASTER, you know that dog pee [next to electricity] will resurrect a demonic force once thought vanquished - in this case, the killer turkey. The turkey has his sights set on these ignorant college students, keeping tradition alive by slaughtering them and their parents. Bring on the gravy and stuffing!

REVIEW
After all the holiday-themed horror films out there, I'm really surprised that there aren't more that take place during Thanksgiving. While Eli Roth's THANKSGIVING trailer during GRINDHOUSE is probably the most famous [and will most likely be turned into an actual film - fingers crossed!], THANKSKILLING actually serves 66 minutes of Thanksgiving goodness. I came across this film on Netflix [it's on Instant Watch] and figured it'd be a nice time-filler so I could post a review that relates to the upcoming holiday. But damn was I surprised by how hilarious this movie is! Yeah, it's a total piece of crap in every aspect, but it's entertaining as all hell and should be watched by all B-movie lovers.

The screenplay is absolutely absurd and ridiculous that I actually have to applaud the filmmakers for actually gathering money and balls to turn it into an actual movie. I mean, the killer is a life-sized turkey who looks like a puppet and sounds like JACK FROST. You can't take this kind of stuff serious. By the way, this turkey is a real character. He swears like a sailor. He enjoys banging slutty chicks from behind without their knowledge. And he can make people believe that he's their father if he's wearing their face on his. This guy is the true epitome of cunning, witty, and successfully doing things incognito.
I, personally, have longed to find someone I can aspire to. It took me almost 30 years, but I think this killer turkey is my role model. He's sarcastic. He's handy with weapons. He's a master of disguise. This turkey is everything I want to be. Thank you, Mr. Turkey for making me believe that there is hope for me yet. *Sniff* Thank you... *Sniff*

Seriously, this turkey puppet has more personality than some of the horror villains I've seen recently. And this puppet definitely has more personality than the human characters, who are nothing but exaggerated stereotypes. Then again, that's not a bad thing considering the actors are gung-ho to take each stereotype to the extreme. Usually, these kind of stereotypical characters leave me feeling indifferent or angry to the point that I want the killer to get them. But I actually liked these idiots. While some of the characters were more interesting than others [Ali, the really dumb slut and Darren, the nerd, were highlights - Kristen, the good girl, didn't do much for me besides her Jon Benet Ramsey joke], I think the really funny dialogue helped make an already implausible and stupid situation even more implausible and stupid - and that included the characters. From the homoeroticism between Darren and Billy [that montage sequence was a highlight], Ali getting raped by the turkey himself, Johnny grief over his parents' death due to "No more pumpkin pie! No more cranberry sauce!", and to the turkey actually pulling off a Leatherface and disguising himself as one of the victim's fathers [in turkey height, feathers, and all] is just bizarre, as it is entertaining.

And the dialogue is so bad, that it ought to be studied in screenwriting classes everywhere. And while the jokes don't always hit the mark, a majority of them do. Especially the turkey one-liners, which had me dying with laughter at how cheesy yet appropriate they were. It's obvious that the filmmakers were having fun with this film. The real question is whether it was intentionally bad on purpose or these filmmakers lucked out with their lack of skill?

The film is incredibly low budget. That's no more evident than by looking at the turkey killer himself. It's nothing more than a rubber puppet with someone's hand up its turkey ass, moving the beak with its fingers. And for some reason, it works. I think it's because a rubber puppet is more B-movie friendly and funnier than a CGI turkey or a dude in a turkey suit. As for the gore, there's some. The goriest scene is where the turkey pecks his way out of one of the character's stomachs after he eats them. We see blood and guts and stuff. But it's mostly pretty tame, obviously because there was no budget to really go all out on gore effects. You'll be laughing so much, you won't even care. I will say that there is a moment where the turkey's history is told through animation, which was really cool. I was really impressed by it and it was definitely the part of the film where most of the budget probably went.

The direction by Jordan Downey isn't all that impressive, but it doesn't have to be. It's pretty much a point and shoot affair. The editing at times is pretty uneven, but the cinematography isn't all that bad. There are some moments in style, such as with the previously mentioned animation sequence. But overall, what you see is what you get. Like the story, the visuals don't have much depth either. But I do appreciate a director who shows a pair of beautiful breasts as his first shot of the film. Kudos, my friend!

As for the acting, there's not much to say about it either. All the actors are pretty bad and each one of them have their moment to shine. The acting makes the film a lot more fun than it probably should be. It's one of those things that needs to be seen to be believed and enjoyed.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE TELLING HOT GIRLS, "NICE TITS, BITCH!"

- The first shot of the film is a female pilgrim showing us her huge candy yams. I only got one word to say about this: Geronimo!

- "It's Thanksgiving, not Titsgiving." I dunno... if it was Titsgiving, I would be eternally giving thanks.

- A dog resurrected the turkey by peeing on it. Talk about pissin' on hospitality! Now I have to tighten my belt to stop my hunger pains!

- The Sheriff's wife took a shit in the Sheriff's coffee as a declaration for divorce. Well that brown log is totally in her half of the divorce settlement!

- A bunny flew right into a burning campfire. I knew that turkey resembled Glenn Close!

- A driver let the turkey hitch a ride because he wanted the turkey's "tight ass". Stove Top has nothing on that stuffing!

- The turkey forced himself on the slutty girl, Ali. Man, that's fowl...

- Don't eat a demonic turkey. He'll eat you out. And not in that fun, pleasurable way either!

THE FINAL HOWL
THANKSKILLING was quite the surprise. As horrible as it is in every single possible way, I couldn't help but like this idiotic movie. If you're willing to leave your brain behind and just be entertained by 66 minutes of stupidity that resembles a Troma film, then this film is for you. Film snobs shouldn't bother with this one. I can't wait for the sequel... in SPACE!

By the way, Happy Thanksgiving to all of my friends, readers, and followers out there in blogger-land. Gobble Gobble, Motherfuckers!


SCORE
3.5 Howls Outta 4

Night of the Demons (2009/10)

DIRECTED BY
Adam Gierasch

STARRING
Shannon Elizabeth - Angela Feld
Monica Keena - Maddie Curtis
Edward Furlong - Colin Levy
Diora Baird - Lily Thompson
John F. Beach - Jason Rogers
Michael Copon - Dex Thrilby
Bobbi Sue Luther - Suzanne Reed

Genre - Horror/Comedy/B-Movie/Demons/Remake

Running Time - 93 Minutes



When I first heard about the remake to 1988's NIGHT OF THE DEMONS, I was both interested and bewildered. My interest lied mainly in the cast. I mean, Edward FUCKIN' Furlong! Where the hell has that dude been? And Shannon Elizabeth, Diora Baird, Monica Keena, Bobbi Sue Luther, and Tiffany Shepis in one film? Yes please! Just for the actors alone, this film was a must-see [trainwreck or not].

However, why even bother remaking NIGHT OF THE DEMONS? It's a film made specifically for the 1980s! It has a lot of energetic style. It's funny with its high level of camp and cheese. It had great looking special effects for its time. And the acting was pretty terrible, which was pretty much the point. It didn't need a remake. It was fine the way it was. Why hasn't anyone thought about remaking GRADUATION DAY? DON'T GO INTO THE WOODS...ALONE? GLITTER? Those horror films deserve a remake!

But here it is and I finally got to sit down and watch the 2009 version of NIGHT OF THE DEMONS with a mix of intrigue and trepidation. Surprisingly, it wasn't the suckfest I was expecting. But it definitely won't replace the original any time soon either. Let's see why this night isn't worth getting too demonic over.

PLOT
85 years ago, Evangeline Broussard (Tatyana Kanavka) held a Halloween seance, hoping that it would land her a man. Before I can spell the word desperate, the spell goes wrong - her guests end up missing, her maid goes nuts, and Evangeline hangs herself to escape this madness. Since then, no one has been able to live in her house without strange things happening.

Present day, Angela Feld (Shannon Elizabeth) plans a Halloween party at Evangeline's house without a permit, trying to raise money for rent or to hire a new agent that won't mess up her career like the last one. Anyway, Angela her best friend Suzanne (Bobbi Sue Luther) who in turn invites her friends Maddie (Monica Keena) and Lily (Diora Baird). When they arrive at the party, they're surprised to see Maddie's ex, Colin (Edward Furlong), who's there to sell drugs. Lily's ex, Dex (Michael Copon), is also there with his best friend Jason (John F. Beach).

As the party begins to get wild, the cops storm in and stop it due to the lack of permit on Angela's part. Everyone leaves but these seven characters, who seem to be stuck inside the house. After searching for a way out, they encounter six skeletons in the basement. One of them bites Angela, which turns her into a sex-crazed and violent demon. While the party seems to be over for our human characters, it's just the beginning for these vengeful demons.

REVIEW
NIGHT OF THE DEMONS is a decent retelling of a quasi-classic 80s horror film that has gained quite a deserving cult status amongst genre fans. But like I wrote earlier, the original film was a product of its era, almost meant to be placed inside an 80s time capsule because it captures the decade so well. It's obvious that the remake would lose that sense of nostalgia, creating a different feel while mostly maintaining the same elements intact. It's a not a horrible remake - in fact, I found it pretty entertaining for the most part. But the original NIGHT OF THE DEMONS doesn't need an update, which this remake definitely proves from beginning to end.

I think one of the faults for this remake is in the narrative. In the original film, there wasn't much of a backstory about the demons and their reasoning for wanting to kill and possess the other protagonists. It was just something the audience understood and went along with, without asking questions about the motives. I think that's why the story in the original is so strong. We never cared about why the demons were there doing these things. Once we followed them putting lipstick inside their boobs and gouging people's eyes out, the backstory took a backseat to what we were seeing. The remake, however, decided to present a backstory to the house and the reasoning for why the demons were doing this to our protagonists. Now I will admit that I didn't hate the backstory at all. In fact, while generic and pretty cliche, I thought it was believable in context with the rest of the story. However, I don't think it was needed really. I thought the expository dialogue pertaining to this backstory just ruined the flow of the film at times and took away from the atmosphere and tone it was trying to create. The film is supposed to be a pretty silly horror flick, but the backstory has this serious undertone about it that it makes the film feel a bit disjointed. The original worked really well without the history of the house. Why did the screenwriters feel that modern audiences needed one today? Horror audiences aren't stupid. Just give us straightforward information and we can process it.

I also thought that some of the homages to the original were fairly weak. I'm not sure if I should blame screenwriters Jace Anderson and Adam Gierasch or just Gierasch for his direction, but these moments added nothing to the story at all. Angela's dance, for example, is one of the highlights of the original. It's obvious that it would be in the remake because it's one of those moments that makes NIGHT OF THE DEMONS what it is. However, it's done fairly weak in the remake and I just wanted to watch the original version. Also, the lipstick moment, I felt, could have been better as well. It was nice to see it, but I thought the original moment had more impact. This version felt like it was in the film because fans of the original were expecting it. It reminded me of those recreated scenes in the A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET remake - nice to see, but the original did them better with their much lower budgets, and better storytelling and direction.

I also felt that the script tried to hard to be funny. There are moments, where Colin tells Jason and Maddie about 'throwing away all logic about the situation because it doesn't make sense', that work because that's what audiences will be thinking anyway. But for the most part, the dialogue tries to be witty and clever by making light of the situation, but it just falls flat. I barely laughed watching this because the comedy was being forced. It also didn't balance well enough with the horror elements either. It's nice to see the attempt to recreate the magic of the original, but that was then and this is now.

I will say that the rest of the story is pretty much the same as the original film. Because of that, the remake for NIGHT OF THE DEMONS works most of the time. The premise is still intact, the three-act structure is still there, and we know just enough about these stereotypical characters to sort of care about what will happen to them. At least Anderson and Gierasch knew and respected what the original's strengths were and kept them in this newer version. So while the added stuff is pretty flawed, the elements of the original still keep the remake afloat and watchable.

The special effects by Drac Studios were a mixed bag. Most of the demon make-up didn't look or feel right to me. Angela looked like a ram in her demonic form, I thought. I think she looked freakier in the original, due to the wonderful make up job by Nick Benson. But the demons didn't look horrible and I bought it. Also, the CGI was pretty lame, I gotta say. The scene where Angela and Suzanne are levitating during Angela's dance made me laugh due to the obviously green screen effect. Also, the lipstick scene was also done with CGI and looked faker than the original version. Plus, the scene was trying to be over-the-top compared to the most subtle original scene, which took away from its effectiveness. There was some nice gore though [could have been pushed further] and some of the CGI worked for me as well. I just thought the old-school charm of the original film was presented stronger than in the remake.

The direction by Adam Gierasch wasn't as good as Kevin Tenney's, but I didn't hate it at all. In fact, it was directed like a modern horror flick would be. There were moments of shaky cam during scenes of action and tension. There were moments of mood and atmosphere that I liked. The pacing was quick and you're never bored. And I loved Gierasch's uses of shadow and light in certain scenes. I kind of wished he had pushed the sex, the gore, and the horror a bit further at times [it felt tamer than the original, to be honest, besides the whole anal demon sex thing], but NIGHT OF THE DEMONS is a visually pleasing film 95 percent of the time. I respect that Gierasch didn't do a shot-by-shot remake and added twists to the story to make it fresh, even if the twists didn't work as well as they should have. That's what a remake is supposed to do - keep what makes the original work while adding something new to make it stand out. Gierasch wasn't totally successful at that when it came to the script, but I thought the film visually looked great besides those CGI scenes. No complaints in this department.

The acting was also decent for the most part. Shannon Elizabeth was mis-cast as Angela, I felt. Maybe it's because I enjoyed Amelia Kinkade in the original NIGHT OF THE DEMONS and its sequel so much that I knew Elizabeth wouldn't compare. She's not the best actress in the world and I don't think this should have been her role. I think Tiffany Shepis, who has a smaller role as Diana [and does a good job, by the way], would have been a better fit. I just never bought Elizabeth in the role and she brought nothing to it to convince me otherwise. Monica Keena, from FREDDY VS. JASON, is probably the best actress [by default] as Maddie. She seemed to realize how silly the story was and pretty much had fun with the role. I think she actually makes a good heroine in horror films because she's grounded in these sort of roles. I liked her. Edward Furlong, was okay as Colin. It sucks his career didn't rise after T2: JUDGMENT DAY back in 1991, but it's good to see him play his role in sort of a goofy and quirky way. He wasn't great by any means, but he still has a presence about him on screen that makes you want to watch him.

The other actors had less to do really. John F. Beach is pretty funny as Jason, who plays a screaming, whining, and dimwitted hero very well. Diora Biard, from THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING and the God-awful STAN HELSING, is sexy and shows her boobs. That's enough for me. Michael Copon, from Power Rangers: Time Force and One Tree Hill fame, didn't do all that much as Dex. But he had a memorable anal sex scene with Biard, so that's something. Bobbi Sue Luther, from LAID TO REST, was cute and sexy as Suzanne, although she had nothing on Linnea Quigley in the same role in the original. Speaking of Quigley, she has a cameo at the beginning of the film, dressed in the same outfit that she wore in the original movie. And she even takes the time to bend over and show us her panties. Good times.

And before I end this review, I must say that the soundtrack to this film ROCKED! I really dug the punk and metal songs that played throughout the film. I usually dislike when horror films use modern music like that instead of actually creating an original score, but it worked beautifully here. I dug the soundtrack a lot.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE TRANSFERRING MY DEMONIC SEED THROUGH A SEXY FEMALE'S ANAL CAVITY

- Lily dressed up as a slutty cat. She better hope these hungry demons are either gay males or straight females. Otherwise, she's gonna be eaten out all night.

- Maddie, Lily, and Suzanne felt that men preferred waxed vaginas. Personally, if hair is the only thing growing out of that region, it's all good.

- A hand came out of a mirror, trying to pull Maddie in. Looks like Michael Jackson started something that he was unable to finish. Even after 23 years, it's still time to make that change.

- Angela was pissed that Diana took her party money. Looks like Michael Jackson wasn't lying when he claimed that she was Dirty.

- Demonic possession can pass through intimate acts, like kissing. I made out with a hot she-demon once. All I got for it were several cold sores and a bad case of mono. Bitch.

- Angela displayed her deep throat skills using a bottle of wine. Performing fellation is as wholesome as warm AMERICAN PIE.

- Don't ever shove a tube of lipstick through your boob. You'll end up having a neverending period - and no janitor needs to be cleaning that bloody mess up!

- Colin seems pretty proficient when it concerns dealing with demons. Once you've dealt with Skynet, the T-1000, and getting arrested for freeing lobsters from a restaurant under a drug binge, you can overcome anything.

- The walls started to bleed. Amityville really needs to send a wrecking ball through this damn house. No wonder the real estate market has gone to shit.

THE FINAL HOWL
NIGHT OF THE DEMONS is a slightly above-average remake for a film that, quite honestly, didn't need one. Still, I was entertained by this update for the most part, even if some of the newer stuff didn't really work in the film's favor. But it looks great, the acting is decent, and there are moments that are pretty memorable. NIGHT OF THE DEMONS makes for a recommendable rental, but it won't replace the original.


SCORE
2.5 Howls Outta 4

Child's Play 2 (1990)

DIRECTED BY
John Lafia

STARRING
Alex Vincent - Andy Barclay
Christine Elise - Kyle
Brad Dourif - Voice of Chucky
Jenny Agutter - Joanne Simpson
Gerrit Graham - Phil Simpson
Grace Zabriskie - Grace Poole
Greg Germann - Mattson

Genre - Horror/Slasher/Supernatural/Toys

Running Time - 84 Minutes


In 1988, a new horror film franchise was created in the form of CHILD'S PLAY. The film, dealing with a serial killer who places his soul into the body of a talking doll [who in turn wants to place the soul into the body of an innocent little boy] was a box office and critical success. And just like when any other film makes a decent-sized profit, a sequel is always in the cards.

There were some issues when it came to 1990's CHILD'S PLAY 2 behind the scenes. One, Catherine Hicks, who had played Karen Barclay, and Chris Sarandon, who had played Detective Mike Norris, wouldn't be able to star in the film due to scheduling conflicts. This was more significant when it came to Sarandon, who was originally going to be the main character of the sequel, causing rewrites to get rid of the character. Also MGM, who owned the rights to CHILD'S PLAY, was bought by another company that wanted to take MGM in a more "family friendly" direction. This meant that the future of CHILD'S PLAY was in doubt. Luckily, Universal Studios was interested and decided to buy the brand [even though the first one would always be under the MGM label, thus ruining any chance of a full box set].

With Don Mancini [who co-wrote the first film], Alex Vincent, and Brad Dourif back on board, CHILD'S PLAY 2 was made and released in 1990. While not as successful as the first both critically and commercially, the sequel still made a nice profit and was even #1 at the box office for a week. And after 20 years [has it really been that long?], CHILD'S PLAY 2 is still an enjoyable sequel that won't change cinema, but will entertain audiences and prove that the Chucky character is worthy of his status as a modern horror icon.

PLOT
Two years after the events of CHILD'S PLAY, the remains of the Chucky doll are back in the hands of Play Pals, Inc. After the accusations of both Karen Barclay and her son Andy (Alex Vincent) about Chucky (voiced by Brad Dourif), the company wants to repair its reputation by reconstructing the doll. Unfortunately, an electrocution brings Chucky back to life, restarting his killing spree and his hunt for Andy.

Meanwhile, Andy is placed in the foster care system due to Karen being placed under psychiatric care due to collaborating with Andy's story about Chucky. He placed under the guardianship of skeptical Phil (Gerrit Graham) and compassionate Joanne (Jenny Agutter) Simpson. The Simpsons have another foster child named Kyle (Christine Elise), a tough teenage girl who takes a quick liking to Andy.

Andy, still traumatized by Chucky, freaks out when another Good Guy doll named Tommy was given to Andy as a gift from The Simpsons. Trying to get over his fear, Andy slowly befriends Tommy. Unfortunately, Chucky has located Andy and decides to get rid of Tommy and replace him. Andy soon begins to relive his nightmare, as Chucky murders anyone and everyone that could become an obstacle for him to place his soul in Andy's body before he turns completely human inside the doll's body.

REVIEW
CHILD'S PLAY worked as a horror film due to its level of mystery and attempts to be a gritty, scary film. However, CHILD'S PLAY 2 doesn't bother trying to be scary. Instead, it's more focused on humor and gore. It's your typical horror sequel - one that's not as memorable or as scary as the film before it. Still, CHILD'S PLAY 2 is a good sequel that happens to create pretty cool moments.

The story by Don Mancini does a good job in continuing on the events that occurred in the first film. Even though expository, we learn what happened to Andy's mother and why Andy is stuck in foster care. We also learn that Chucky can't enter another body but Andy's since Andy was the first person Chucky told his secret to. This solves a lot of issues concerning Chucky's obsession with Andy. I know a lot of people who keep asking, "Why is Chucky chasing after this kid? Couldn't he just possess some other poor fool and live his life through them?" At least this way, it keeps the cat-and-mouse chase tense and suspenseful because we know Chucky needs Andy and will take desperate measures to get what he wants.

Also, the script allows Chucky to take control of the film. Now that we know that the doll is the killer, there's no need to hide him from the audience. With Chucky now in the forefront, we're allowed to see his personality shine through more than it did in the original. And boy, what a fuckin' personality it is! With funny one-liners and a mouth that deserves to be washed out with soap, Chucky is a hoot to watch and listen to. I still think the line about women drivers is one of the funniest moments in this franchise. Chucky would become more of a comedian in the later sequels [for better or worse, depending on who you talk to], but CHILD'S PLAY 2 is the real beginning of Chucky's character fleshing out from killer doll to horror icon. And the humor here works well in the sequel since Chucky isn't scary anymore. I mean, who would be scared of a doll who could be defeated just by a swift kick to his big head? It was smart for Mancini to have the audience laugh with Chucky instead of at him.

Unfortunately, CHILD'S PLAY 2 does suffer from sequelitis. The characters aren't fleshed out as well as they should be. Andy gets a bit more development as we watch his struggle to escape the memory of Chucky. Kyle gets the most development out of the newer characters, as her tough exterior reveals a compassionate and caring human being underneath. Still, we don't really know what her story is except for what we see in the film. But she's developed enough for us to like her. Everyone else gets the shaft though. Especially The Simpsons [doh!], who come off as pretty one-dimensional. Phil is written more like an asshole than someone who is skeptical of taking troubled Andy in. And Joanne is more naive than loving. And there's a moment where it's implied that Joanne is unable to conceive her own children, but it's never pushed further than that. It's not a deep story, and while this doesn't hurt the film all that much, it still would have been nice to see some depth to the characters and their situations. It's here when you start rooting for Chucky to kill these characters. But then again, this is a slasher film and it pretty much follows the formula predictability. What more do you want?

The special effects by Kevin Yagher and Image Engineering Inc. are well done. Chucky is fully robotic, instead of having a short person dressed like Chucky running around. And Chucky looks really good, displaying personality through his movements and facial expressions. Yagher and crew did a good job bring Chucky to life and making him believable. The scene before Chucky teaches that nasty school teacher a lesson is still cool after all these years, from the way Chucky moves menacingly to how the voice syncs with his lip movements. A definite improvement over the first film. Chucky looks more convincing in this installment.

The direction by John Lafia is pretty good. The film moves at a quick pace and it's always entertaining. The opening sequence is well done, with the FRANKENSTEIN homage. Personally, I enjoy the final act of the film inside the Play Pals, Inc. factory that's reminiscent of Stanley Kubrick's THE SHINING. It's the only time in the film where there's actual tension and suspense. I do think the film has way too many jump/fake scares, especially in the middle portion of the film, that aren't needed. But overall, CHILD'S PLAY 2 is a nice looking film and Lafia makes good work of the script to bring out more depth that the narrative lacks.

The acting in the film is decent. Alex Vincent doesn't get to emote as much as he did in the first as Andy. But his performance is more convincing this time around and I bought his fear of Chucky at the beginning of the film. Christine Elise is cool as Kyle, creating a tough and intelligent girl we can like and root for. What ever happened to her anyway? After this and her awesome time on Beverly Hills, 90210 back in the day, I thought she'd be bigger. Brad Dourif rocks it as usual as Chucky. He just brings the menace and funny out of Charles Lee Ray, even if he is a 2 foot tall doll. I'm so glad he's doing the voice for the CHILD'S PLAY remake. I can't hear anybody else in the role.

Everyone else was sort of bland though. Jenny Agutter, who I enjoy in AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, is just dull as Joanne. I love her accent though. And Gerrit Graham just comes off as a douche who we want Chucky to murder in the most vicious of ways. Why anyone would let this man adopt any children is beyond my comprehension? What a dick!

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE BLAMING EVERYTHING ON THOSE GODDAMN WOMEN DRIVERS

- At the beginning of the film, we see Chucky being put back together limb by limb. Cher seems to get this procedure done every ten years to stay looking young. If you "Believe" she was au natural, then "I Got You..." a bridge to buy, "...Babe."

- Mattson was told to stick Chucky up his ass. Now I see why Chucky is a hit amongst women and gay men - he's taller lying down than standing up!

- The liquor store only took cash, not credit. After what happened to Mattson, plastic will kill any business, both commercial and personal.

- Andy was found tied and gagged on his bed by Kyle and his foster parents. Even though Chucky was the kinky bastard who did it, they think Andy is the ONE who FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST.

- Andy's homework had the words, "Fuck You, Bitch!" on it, pissing off his teacher. The message wasn't for her. It was for the family dog before she ate his damn homework again!

- Chucky beat Andy's teacher with a ruler. I guess she couldn't handle a man carrying twelve inches...

- Phil broke his neck tripping on his basement stairs. Step by step/Oooh baby/That's really gotta hurt-urt-urt-urt...

- Kyle convinced an officer, after being pulled over, that Chucky was like those dolls that pee, instead he bleeds. At least she didn't tell him that Chucky ejaculates. While awkward, at least it could possibly save lots of lonely nights.

THE FINAL HOWL
While not as good as CHILD'S PLAY, CHILD'S PLAY 2 is still an enjoyable sequel and definitely the best sequel in the franchise. It's quick, it's funny, and it has some cool scenes and moments. If you're a fan of an evil, cussing doll doing messed up things to shallow people, then this film is for you. If you're looking for something suspenseful and creepy, stick with the first film. Just leave the brain at the door and enjoy CHILD'S PLAY 2 for what it is - a stupid, silly time showcasing a doll that has more personality than the actual humans in the film.


SCORE
3 Howls Outta 4