Punisher: War Zone (2008) w/ The DTV Connoisseur

Matthew Poirier and I discuss 2008's underrated PUNISHER: WAR ZONE. We look at what works so well, but why the film didn't succeed at the box office. We also get into the current state of comic book movies, from Marvel's rebound with DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE, to DC looking to reboot their universe with the upcoming SUPERMAN film from James Gunn.

*This was recorded before the release of JOKER: FOLIE A DEUX*

Undefeatable (1993) w/ The DTV Connoisseur

Matthew Poirier and I get into the 1993 Godfrey Ho action classic UNDEFEATABLE starring Cynthia Rothrock. It's one of those films you have to watch to understand - as we both try to make sense of the film, while at times just going along for the ride. Before all that though, we have a conversation [or go off tangent] about the state of the movie-going experience.

Frankenhooker (1990) w/ The DTV Connoisseur

In my first review in two months, I sat down and discussed the 1990 cult Frank Henenlotter classic, FRANKENHOOKER. Listen to Matthew Poirier and myself discuss this wild flick, while also going off tangent about the differences between 1990 New York City and 2024 New York City, POOR THINGS comparisons and how the genre is less fearless now than it was back in 1990. Check it out!

Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

DIRECTED BY

Zelda Williams

STARRING

Kathryn Newton - Lisa Swallows

Cole Sprouse - The Creature

Liza Soberano - Taffy Swallows

Henry Eikenberry - Michael Trent

Joe Chrest - Dale Swallows

Carla Cugino - Janet Swallows

Genre - Horror/Romance/Comedy/Supernatural/Zombies

Running Time - 101 Minutes

PLOT

In 1989, a misunderstood teenager has a high school crush — who just happens to be a handsome corpse! After a set of playfully horrific circumstances bring him back to life, the two embark on a murderous journey to find love, happiness…and a few missing body parts along the way.

REVIEW

While I think this film tries a bit too hard to be a cult film in about five to ten years like a HEATHERS or even a JENNIFER’S BODY, 2024’s LISA FRANKENSTEIN still manages to mostly be a fun time despite its uneven tone and lackluster final act that falls apart in every way. While the narrative doesn’t always work and doesn’t really capitalize on the Frankenstein concept all the way, Diablo Cody’s script is what one would expect from it - amusing quips, some memorable off-the-wall dialogue, and a sense of fun even if the comedy doesn’t land like she would want it to. The characters are all quirky and live in their own 1980s universe, making the film watchable despite not getting much out of it besides nostalgia for that time.

I was expecting more of a Frankenstein type of story, like 2002’s MAY for example, but a bit more lighthearted. Instead, LISA FRANKENSTEIN is less a horror film but more of a zombie rom-com for teens and young adults. While I think 2013’s WARM BODIES handles this kind of tone better, LISA FRANKENSTEIN does have interesting character arcs and twists [as predictable as they are] that keep it somewhat engaging for its 101-minute runtime. Watching Lisa transform from a mousey and grieving teen to a goth princess who enjoys the power of murder to give her Creature love interest body parts he’s missing since he died centuries prior is a fun time and brings a lot of life to what could have been a one-note narrative. While I wish the film had more tension and some darker moments of making one feel uncomfortable, the rom-com aspect [which could have been stronger] still manages to satisfy due to the chemistry between the two main actors.

Zelda Williams’ direction [her first feature, by the way] is hit-and-miss. When Williams wants to be dynamic and show some visual flair, mainly through fantasy sequences that really add a ton to the story, it makes me interested in what Williams could really do with a better script in her next feature. When things get a bit slower, the film is not as visually impressive but still shot well enough to leave a small impression. The lighting, in particular, is used really well. In particular, the scenes involving a tanning bed in a garage really make great use of neon colors that enhance the 1989 setting. Plus, I thought the use of certain songs - like When In Rome’s “The Promise” and Kathryn Newton’s take on REO Speedwagon’s “Can’t Fight This Feeling” are visualized really well and put a smile on my face. Zelda Williams' first film isn’t a total winner, but it does prove she has a voice and it’ll be interesting to see what she takes on next.

What really saves LISA FRANKENSTEIN is the cast. I think this film has Kathryn Newton’s best performance as Lisa Swallows, an awkward teen who just grows more confident with power as the film rolls along. I liked her a lot in FREAKY and thought she was just okay in ANT-MAN & THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA, but Newton really showcases her talent here. She’s always game for anything, using her big eyes and facial expressions to give a lot of depth to a character that could have just been a cliche. I would like to see her do more like this one in the future because she does have some nice comic timing.

Cole Sprouse is also very good as the Creature. He has a harder role to pull off since he barely has any lines of dialogue and mainly has to give a physical performance to convey what the character is going through as he’s revived from the dead and starts to have a life again with Lisa. Sprouse and Newton have great chemistry despite the lack of dialogue, making you root for them within this strange and quirky world they live in.

The only other actors of any note are Liza Soberano and Carla Cugino. Soberano plays Lisa’s stepsister Taffy, a popular girl who could have been totally mean to the more introverted and less popular Lisa. Instead, Soberano plays Taffy as a bubbly delight with some great dialogue that fleshes out what should have been a one-note character on script. I think it was smart of Diablo Cody to make the popular girl not be a bitch to someone perceived to be on a lower level on the social chain, instead making Taffy a supportive and funny character you like just as much as Lisa. I think we’ll be seeing Soberano in more films in the future. As for Carla Cugino, she doesn’t really get enough time to really shine like one would expect. But she makes the most of her screen time, hamming it up and reciting some of the quirkiest dialogue I’ve heard in a long time. I could tell Cugino was enjoying the hell out of this role, making me wish she had more to do and had more interactions with Newton, who plays off of her really well as a foil. 

THE FINAL HOWL

LISA FRANKENSTEIN is an amusing and fun horror rom-com that tries a bit too hard to be a future cult film in the making, sort of in the vein of HEATHERS or even JENNIFER’S BODY. Diablo Cody’s quirky and memorable dialogue elevates a story that slowly loses its way by the time the film hits its third act, thanks to an energetic cast who bring colorful characters to life. The uneven tone doesn’t help, as this movie is more of a zombie rom-com than an actual horror film - not completely succeeding at either one. In her film directorial debut, Zelda Williams shows promise for future projects with some cool visuals at times and a great use of lighting. The cast is what keeps LISA FRANKENSTEIN worth watching, with Kathryn Newton doing her best work as a shy high schooler who transforms into a goth princess once a wish she makes comes true. Her chemistry with Cole Sprouse, who does well with mainly a solid physical performance due to lack of dialogue, is great. Solid supporting performances by a bubbly Liza Soberano and a sassy Carla Cugino add substance to the quirky atmosphere. LISA FRANKENSTEIN didn’t bring me to life or anything, but it’s worth an eventual look if you’re in the mood for a horror rom-com buried in nostalgia.

SCORE

2.5 Howls Outta 4

(6 out of 10)

Night Swim (2024)

DIRECTED BY

Bryce McGuire

STARRING

Wyatt Russell - Ray Waller

Kerry Condon - Eve Waller

Amelie Hoefele - Izzy Waller

Gavin Warren - Elliot Waller

Jodi Long - Lucy Summers

Nancy Lenehan - Kay

Genre - Horror/Supernatural

Running Time - 98 Minutes

PLOT

Forced into early retirement by a degenerative illness, former baseball player Ray Waller moves into a new house with his wife and two children. He hopes that the backyard swimming pool will be fun for the kids and provide physical therapy for himself. However, a dark secret from the home’s past soon unleashes a malevolent force that drags the family into the depths of inescapable terror.

REVIEW

The last couple of years started off pretty strong, with 2022’s SCREAM and 2023’s M3GAN pretty much setting the horror genre on a good pace for the rest of those respective years. While the trailers for Blumhouse’s NIGHT SWIM didn’t exactly excite me in any sort of way, I was hoping for a decent enough time that would give me some hope for some killer horror movies for 2024.

It took me a while to pin down my thoughts for NIGHT SWIM because I honestly don’t have anything to really discuss about this bland film that left me more underwhelmed than I was expecting it to. Going in, I was expecting something similar to 1977’s DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS. The only difference is that it would be a swimming pool eating and/or killing people in a fun B-movie way. I wasn’t expecting a lamer version of THE AMITYVILLE HORROR with less murder, unearned insanity and a resolution that had people in my theater laughing their heads off. 

To get the good stuff out of the way, I thought the film looked nice with some cool shots here and there. The actors were giving more than what the screenplay deserved honestly, Wyatt Russell and Kerry Condon, in particular, deserve better material but are sympathetic as parents who are struggling for different reasons. The two younger actors (Amelie Hoefele and Gavin Warren) are likable as well. And I think the concept of a supernatural pool that grants one’s desires while demanding a violent sacrifice is super interesting.

However, the execution is weak and it creates a pretty dull film that contains elements of other horror movies that have executed these elements way better. There’s an investigation of this supernatural pool that doesn’t explore things enough, considering all the sacrifices that inhabit the pool. I guess you need a reason for a prequel or sequels since everything has to be a franchise/universe. The father of the family gets possessed like in THE AMITYVILLE HORROR, but it happens way too late into the film and not much is done with it until the very end. The change is all surface level and we don’t really get much depth, which NIGHT SWIM seriously lacks. And the worst part? It’s not scary or suspenseful at all. In fact, I chuckled when I saw the first CGI figure that appears in the pool to scare one of the characters. I doubt that’s the reaction the filmmakers wanted.

THE FINAL HOWL

NIGHT SWIM has a great idea that could have been explored in many interesting ways, but just decides to play it safe and give audiences something they’ve already seen countless of times. I’m sure it worked as a short film and this could have been pretty cool as a miniseries on Peacock to flesh out characters and ideas. But it seriously fell flat for me and I will probably never watch this again. Not worth dipping your feet into, in my opinion.

SCORE

1.5 Howls Outta 4

(4 out of 10)

Lunar Cycle - December 2023

Since I don’t have as much time to write longer reviews than I used to, I figured I would just post shorter reviews for horror/cult films that I feel deserve your attention.

Directed By: Takashi Yamazaki

Starring: Ryunosuke Kamiki, Hidetaka Yoshioka, Minami Hamabe, Kuranosuke Sasaki, Yuki Yamada, Saki Nakatani 

Genre: Horror/Drama/Science Fiction/Action

Running Time: 125 Minutes

Score: 4 Howls Outta 4 (10 out of 10)

PLOT: In postwar Japan, a new terror rises. Will the devastated people be able to survive… let alone fight back?

REVIEW:

GODZILLA MINUS ONE may be the surprise film of 2023 for me. I had never planned to watch this new installment of Toho’s iconic monster in theaters, but friends kept mentioning it and decided to watch it on opening night on a whim. While I expected awesome monster action and cities getting destroyed by a giant lizard, I didn’t expect an actual human story that not only is emotional, but made me forget that I was watching a GODZILLA movie at times.

The entire cast, especially Ryunosuke Kamiki as former kamikaze pilot Koichi, is incredible in MINUS ONE. Kamiki, in particular, juggles a lot of emotional beats as a soldier who struggles with deserting his country at the end of World War II. Things get worse when Godzilla shows up and murders a bunch of mechanics on an island Koichi lands on, guilt building when he had a chance to save them all but is too scared to confront the monster face-to-face. We watch Kamiki play Koichi as a man struggling with PTSD - distancing himself from a woman he meets [who also has a child she’s taking care of due to the death of the child’s parents during the war] and feeling like a ghost in a devastated post-war Japan. When Godzilla shows back up and sees the damage the creature causes in front of him multiple times, he knows he has to confront his literal monster even if he has to off himself to do it.

The story is so well-written, well-paced and gives so many character arcs to multiple characters that we actually care about their encounters with Godzilla, hoping they find a way to stop the monster. Godzilla, playing a role closer to his original incarnation from 1954, is a complete villain here, destroying everything in its path and coming across as entirely unstoppable. This is a Godzilla who doesn’t care who or what it is destroying, as long as he gets to unleash its devastation as many times as possible.

Director Takashi Yamazaki takes a $15 million budget and makes MINUS ONE look better than most Hollywood blockbusters have looked in the last few years. And these films have budgets that are ten to fifteen times as much as MINUS ONE. Yamazaki lets the human story simmer and plays it all seriously, letting things build up towards the film’s exciting final act while twists and turns happen when you least expect it. The action sequences are thrilling and look phenomenal for the film’s budget. Godzilla, in particular, looks awesome - especially when he’s building up that atomic heat ray that destroys whatever is in its path. The pacing is so damn good and I loved the homage to JAWS anytime Godzilla swam underneath ships that were searching for it. The use of the original GODZILLA theme also made me giddy and was used at appropriate times. I hear Yamazaki wants to direct a STAR WARS film and I would be down to see what he does with that property with a much larger budget.

Seriously, GODZILLA MINUS ONE is not only one of the best installments in this multi-decade franchise, but it may just be the best installment of them all. It clicks in every way and checks every box that I would ever want in a GODZILLA film. I’m super happy word-of-mouth on social media has helped the film continue its success in America because this movie deserves it. One of the best films of 2023.

Directed By: Rhys Frake-Waterfield 

Starring: Craig David Dowsett, Chris Cordell, Amber Doig-Thorne, Nikolai Leon, Maria Taylor, Natasha Rose Mills, Danielle Ronald

Genre: Horror/Slasher 

Running Time: 84 Minutes

Score: 0.5 Howls Outta 4 (2 out of 10)

PLOT: Christopher Robin is headed off to college and he has abandoned his old friends, Pooh and Piglet, which then leads to the duo embracing their inner monsters. 

REVIEW:

So apparently while Disney owns the rights to the Winnie the Pooh characters when it comes to their own franchise within the studio, the original Winnie-the-Pooh book from 1926 had its rights go to public domain for the first time in decades. This allowed filmmaker Rhys Frake-Waterfield the opportunity to write, direct, produce and edit a slasher film called WINNIE-THE-POOH: BLOOD & HONEY, starring these classic characters to the surprise and anger of many. And I totally understand the fan reaction to this because I’m surprised I watched this in one entire sitting and I’m angry I wasted 80 minutes of my life giving this a shot.

I mean, the concept for this movie is actually quite good. Christopher Robin befriends the Winnie-the-Pooh characters throughout his young life, leading to the characters to be emotionally attached to their human friend. But once he grows old enough for college and decides to leave them for a higher education and pursue his adult life without them, the characters grow bitter and resentful enough to want revenge on Robin and other humans who enter 100 Acre Woods. That sounds like a cool horror movie!

Too bad this only works for the first ten minutes of the movie, leaving 74 minutes of Pooh and Piglet stalking bland and annoying female characters who do the most dumb things I’ve seen characters do in a horror film in a very long time. It almost borders on misogynistic, as Pooh and Piglet have no issues targeting young women for slaughter but aren’t as brutal on the male characters that show up. It doesn’t help that these female characters are way too ignorant or lack any common sense for any audience to care about them in any sort of meaningful way other than to watch classic characters eliminate them. I mean, sure you can talk to hostages for five straight minutes in Pooh’s lair. It would be smarter to free them and have them explain things once you’re safe enough from danger, but what do I know right? 

Other than a cool idea, an amusing pre-credits sequence and decent gore sequences, WINNIE-THE-POOH: BLOOD & HONEY has nothing else to offer. The direction isn’t all that impressive. The acting is not good. The costumes look alright I guess, but doesn’t save the film from being terrible. I’m sure some will laugh at how stupid and bad this film is [especially if you’re under the influence of certain substances]. But I think most will just be frustrated by the end of this film, wishing death on everyone on screen. This honestly may be the worst film I’ve watched that was released in 2023. I’m actually sad this is getting a sequel because that means I’ll probably have to watch it for a review. And I thought Eeyore had a depressing life.

Directed By: Tyler MacIntyre

Starring: Jane Widdop, Joel McHale, Justin Long, Jess McLeod, Katharine Isabelle

Genre: Horror/Thriller/Comedy/Slasher

Running Time: 87 Minutes

Score: 2 Howls Outta 4 (5 out of 10)

PLOT: Winnie’s life is less than wonderful one year after saving her town from a psychotic killer on Christmas Eve. When she wishes she was never born, she finds herself magically transported to a nightmarish parallel universe. With the murderous maniac now back, she must team up with a misfit to identify the culprit and get back to her own reality.

REVIEW:
A horror take on the 1946 Frank Capra holiday classic IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE [with some elements of 1983’s A CHRISTMAS STORY implemented], I was expecting a scary version of a familiar story. Considering it was written by a co-writer of 2020’s FREAKY and riding the wave of time-traveling horror films like 2017’s HAPPY DEATH DAY and 2023’s TOTALLY KILLER, it should have been mostly a slam dunk. Unfortunately, IT’S A WONDERFUL KNIFE is just a mediocre slasher film that has a really cool concept but doesn’t bother to execute it to its fullest potential.

The first act is the best part of this film, as it gets into the plot right away and reveals things that will be important once the time changes for the rest of the film. And while seeing a different timeline is cool at times in IT’S A WONDERFUL KNIFE, not enough time is given to really flesh out the major changes that the Final Girl Winnie has to deal with in order to get her back to her original timeline. While relationships are different and the mystery of the killer gets a bit more complex, things just happen because they need to in order for the story to move forward towards its conclusion. There’s no real tension, suspense or drama that’s brought out from these changes, making one wonder why even bother using this concept to begin with. The final act also feels way too convenient and easy for the main characters to achieve that Hollywood ending, which is a shame.

While some shots are cool looking, mainly due to lighting and framing, Tyler MacIntyre and his team didn’t really wow me with their visual presentation. It does what it needs to do to get from Point A to Point B. The actors are probably the highlight here, especially Justin Long as this greedy narcissistic Mayor and Joel McHale playing a serious role that actually works for the most part. It’s also nice to see Katharine Isabelle doing her thing, while Jane Widdop does what she can with the material. I would like to see her in a better project.

I really wanted this to be an annual holiday tradition, but I honestly can’t see myself willingly watching this again unless it was to show friends or for a podcast for whatever reason. While it’s definitely better to just stick with IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, there’s nothing wrong with more holiday horror. So if you’re curious, check it out. I just hope you don’t wish that you were watching a better film like I did.

Directed By: Jenn Wexler

Starring: Georgia Acken, Mena Massoud, Olivia Scott Welch, Gus Kenworthy, Chloe Levine, Derek Johns, Laurent Pitre, Madison Baines 

Genre: Horror/Thriller/Supernatural/Demons

Running Time: 99 Minutes

Score: 3 Howls Outta 4 (7 out of 10)

PLOT: Christmas break, 1971. Samantha and Clara, two students who are staying behind for the holidays at their boarding school, must survive the night after the arrival of uninvited visitors.

REVIEW:

Did any of you watch this year’s THE HOLDOVERS and wish it had a more horror slant involving a group of serial killers murdering people in order to summon a demon during the holidays? Well if you did, THE SACRIFICE GAME is definitely your jam. 

I didn’t know what to expect out of this, even though the trailer was intriguing. But a lot of this film worked for me, both visually and narratively. Jenn Wexler was smart in using a 70s vibe, a time where Satanic Panic was at its peak. It added an old school horror feel to THE SACRIFICE GAME that added a bit of atmosphere to film that mainly takes place indoors the entire time. I also thought the horror elements were used sparingly well, with the special effects looking very good. The final act isn’t shy about showing blood and gore, which was a nice change of pace from the more quiet and talky first two acts. 

The story is also pretty simple, as a group of people are going from home to home killing people to collect blood in order to summon a demon that’s trapped inside of a boarding school. It plays straightforward for the first half of the film, until the twists begin that make the movie a lot of fun to watch. It’s tough to discuss the last half without spoiling stuff, but I like how misunderstandings and not doing enough research can get some really stupid and greedy people in trouble.

The acting is hit-and-miss, with some actors really hamming it up with some interesting line readings that amused me more than get me invested in their character arcs. Mena Massoud, the live-action star of 2019’s ALADDIN, really twirls that proverbial mustache as the film’s lead villain, chewing up scenery any chance he gets. It works in some instances and it’s really distracting during others. But at least Massoud is having fun. I thought the two younger actresses, Georgia Acken and Madison Baines, were very good - especially Acken since she’s given more to do. Gus Kenworthy doesn’t get a whole lot to do, but he’s a recognizable name that will interest some viewers. 

While the holidays are over, I still recommend this one if you have Shudder. I think it has enough interesting twists and good enough acting to earn a recommendation for anyone looking for a recent Christmas horror flick.